Slightly Smarter Than a Slug

Having never been a "Desperate Housewife" and hating all the bad press heaped on women, it has been a breath of fresh air to read the unfolding story of the NASA astronauts caught up in a love triangle. While we will all remember poor Lisa Nowak for driving 900 miles in a diaper to confront her rival, there is also plenty of steamy news unfolding regarding the male astronaut, William Oefelein. And I certainly think he deserves his fifteen seconds of fame on the blog.

USA Today gave some of the most salacious details yet for what will soon be a new movie release, "Astronauts Gone Wild". That had to have been the best reading with a cup of coffee, in a long time. Luckless Will must have thought that he had the pick of the litter, over at NASA. First, he boings Lisa and loses his marriage. He then moves in on Colleen Shipman, without properly severing the ties with soon-to-be bachelorette number 1, because she is hopelessly in love, and divorcing her husband.

Poor Shipman was not the brightest woman either. She has admitted that while in bed with Will he called her "Lisa". That should have been a definite red flag. Like a male friend of mine drily commented, "I call 'em all Baby. That way I don't slip up."

So while Will Oefelein is taking his time dumping Lisa Nowak, Colleen Shipman is sending e mails to her new hero while he is in orbit on the space shuttle Discovery. "Will have to control myself when I see you. First urge will be to rip your clothes off." Mr. Wonderful responds, "You must really have me wrapped around your little finger that I can't even function without you here.... and with you here, I am slightly smarter than a slug." Good God! This man is whipping around the universe in an expensive spacecraft and he admits to being nonfunctional! This is about as good as a story can get, when it comes to the power of conquering "luv". The poor man has been rendered senseless.

But in all honesty, can someone just send Mr. William Oefelein a shovel? He needs one, to bury his career and lay it to rest. Talk about desperate men! It is good to see the shoe on the other foot for once. I will be scanning the news tomorrow, for further fun-to-read e mails from high above our planet. If anyone wants to join me, bring your coffee cup and we will have a great time. Otherwise, anyone with some sage advice or remarks for Mr. Oefelein? Post it over in our free speech zone! smile

Tammy Swofford
tammyswofford@yahoo.com