Advice for Ugly Women

My father recognized early in my life that beauty would not be my selling point. I remember being a very clumsy child. In second grade he suggested to my mother they invest in a charm school, which then funneled students to print advertising for clothing catalogues. My mother would not allow it as she thought it would make me a prideful individual. When I started college I weighed 96 pounds and walked around campus with the figure of a praying mantis displaying long brunette hair. So I can relate to the angst which is being suffered by the sorority sisters of Delta Zeta who (according to rumor) have been booted from their local college chapter for being ugly.

Luckily, my own father was never deterred in his quest to make his daughter into a beautiful woman. For his guidance, I remain thankful. My Dad knew that well-groomed, well-bred and educated women become more beautiful with age. So he set to work; and while my mother taught me aspects of my future role as a wife and mother, it was my Dad, who taught me how to be a lady.

My father demanded that I dress like a lady. He understood that I needed to learn how to display my brain before I displayed my breasts. He believed it so strongly, that I was not allowed to go shopping for my own clothing and everything required his final approval. But he was not unkind. On a trip to Mexico City he once requested that a dress be taken off a mannequin in a department store and boxed up for me. It was the only one of its kind and he knew I would love it. I wore that outfit for many months. I have always loved my father, for that one act.

My Dad also taught me the art of polite conversation. I learned to debate and hold my own ground with this man who graduated Magna cum Laude from his university. He is still one of my favorite people to use to challenge my own new ideas. If I think up anything new, I bounce it off his brain first.

My father believed in education. I entered college under an early admissions program for high school seniors and flourished emotionally and socially during my college years. Daddy once said to me, "Marry a man smarter than yourself. Otherwise, you will be bored with him after the honeymoon." Looking at me with his cool and steady gaze, I knew that his words meant the opposite. He wanted me to also be fascinating to my husband. So he demanded that I be educated, encouraged me to pursue a career after my marriage and not let my talents rust.

It is sad that our culture has become so dominated with idolizing physical, external beauty. Our youth are allowed to fawn over women such as Britney Spears. But when she shaves her head we see her for what she really is, a rather senseless, uneducated and ugly woman. I am grateful that my father gave me the tools to attain to true beauty. I hope the Delta Zeta women, also find their way back to sensibility. Many a young ugly duckling has made the transition to a lovely, and self-assured woman. It is about the whole package, not only that which the eye beholds.

Tammy Swofford
tammyswofford@yahoo.com